Do you want to know what to expect in 2024? Look somewhere else. This is a half-serious, half-facetious list (and I don’t even know which is which) drawing on observations and conversations on both sides of the Atlantic. It is a list for people who have ever wondered “What is the next turmeric?” Or thought, “I’ve heard good things about the skiing in Amirsoy, but will anyone I know be there?” It is my list, and even I wouldn’t trust it.
| OUT | IN |
| minimalism | clutter |
| Ontario | Québec |
| ennui | malaise |
| George Brown | D’Arcy McGee |
| cigars | pipes |
| vapes | cigarettes |
| Justin Trudeau | Sophie Grégoire Trudeau |
| frustration | anger |
| Budapest | Bucharest |
| Che Guevara t-shirts | Moshe Dayan t-shirts |
| coffee breaks | lunch breaks |
| Florida | Maine |
| occupation | gunboat diplomacy |
| Scotland’s lochs | Scotland’s beaches |
| Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis style icon | Carolyne Bessette-Kennedy style icon |
| Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood | Whistler—Sargent bromance |
| beards | sideburns |
| Grotius | Suárez |
| Scottish gin | Spanish gin |
| historical-pastoral | tragical-historical |
| anti-woke Right | anti-woke Left |
| dry whites | off-dry whites |
| Al Waxman | Bruno Gerussi |
| EVs | hybrids |
| Islay | Campbelltown |
| NCAA basketball | Euroleague |
| Western Roman Empire | Eastern Roman Empire |
| Charlotte Brontë | Emily Brontë |
| Spanish Falangism | Lebanese Phalangism |
| Sense and Sensibilia | Names and Necessity |
| veterans | rookies |
| desserts | digestifs |
| the bully pulpit | endynamistic power |
| human dignity | rights for robots |
| opaque | sheer |
| memoirs | biographies |
| Alexander Waugh | Auberon Waugh |
| Pineau des Charentes | Carcavelos |
| Christopher Hitchens | Peter Hitchens |
| via positiva | via negativa |
| blocking | ignoring |
| smoothies | soups |
| Bertie Wooster | Rupert Psmith |
| handbags | fashion totes |
| decline | fall |
| John Humphrey | Charles de Koninck |
| Georgian townhouses | Edwardian flats |
| quiet quitting | work to rule |
| Roald Dahl’s children’s stories | Roald Dahl’s adult stories |
| DMs | voice notes |
| parks | piazzas |
| girl math | bro science |
| bowdlerisation | expurgation |
| the media | the silent majority |
| thinking about the Roman Empire | thinking about the Holy Roman Empire |
| Anthony Trollope | Anthony Powell |
| Apulia | Liguria |
| Fidel Castro | Simón Bolívar |
| Impressionist cityscapes | Romantic landscapes |
| mackerel | branzino |
| Gentileschi | Bronzino |
| Tonka bean | tamarind |
| Bernese Mountain Dogs | Newfoundlanders |
| Beverley McLachlin’s airport fiction | Robert Borden’s translations of Goethe |
| Slovenian beaches | Albanian beaches |
| illiberal democratic backsliding | liberal democratic backsliding |
| CNN | CSPAN |
| bridges | ferries |
| weekend golf | weekday golf |
| illegal border-crossing | visa overstays |
| car audio systems | car video systems |
| book clubs | choirs |
| Netflix and chill | dinner and a movie |
| Jimmy Carter | Gerald Ford |
| lacrosse | rugby |
| bike lanes | walking paths |
| “pursuing our own good in our own way” | “a manly, moral, regulated liberty” |
| mindfulness | primal screams |
| Modigliani | Brancusi |
| George Orwell | Cyril Connolly |
| business cards | calling cards |
| contraception | pregnancy |
| smoked cocktails | food-infused cocktails1But I’m still not ordering either. |
| Michael Ondaatje’s fiction | Michael Ondaatje’s poetry |
| matcha | probably something even worse |
| civilisation | its discontents |
| legislative power | executive power |
| fences | hedges |
| The Greek islands | The Greek mainland |
| citrus | floral |
| PRC election interference | PRC cultural disruption |
| income | inheritance |
| lake houses | river houses |
| houndstooth | tartan |
| Georgian orange wine | Bulgarian pét-nat |
| mushroom drinks | mushroom everything |
| genocide | “genocide” |
| loft conversions | barn conversions |
| clean lines | tassels and fringes |
| food delivery | frozen meals |
| The Balkans | The Baltics |
| Old Fashioned | Sazerac |
| hotels | staying with friends |
| sobriety | celibacy |
| flower gardens | kitchen gardens |
| Colombia | Peru |
| ginger groups | Adullamite factions |
| Florence | Ravenna |
| kale | cabbage |
| cottages | cabins |
| superstition | witchcraft |
| knitting | thatching |
| Nutella | pistachio cream |
| flavoured honey | flavoured mustard |
| Scottish folds | British shorthairs |
| Marina Abramovic | Yoko Ono |
| grass | dirt |
| exhibitions | permanent collections |
| hoodies | overshirts |
| New York steakhouses | Paris steakhouses |
| prosecco | champagne |
| tweed | corduroy |
| Reagan Democrats | Attlee Conservatives |
| cacio e pepe | la gricia |
| fusion | regional |
| going for it on fourth down | fake punts |
| organic farming | regenerative farming |
| Millennial imposter syndrome | Gen Alpha brash ignorance |
| Eastern Canadian wines | Western Canadian wines |
| West Coast American wines | East Coast American wines |
| irony | hypersentimentalism |
| impeachment | 25th Amendment |
| short stories | multivolume novels |
| urban bee hives | urban pollinator gardens |
| black truffle | white truffle |
| Zermatt | Cervinia |
| fleece | shearling |
| soccer | rugby |
| minimum wage | automation |
| literary fiction | literary non-fiction |
| plastic | glass |
| hops | malts |
| political platforms | political principles |
| Taylor Swift | Amy Winehouse |
| lattes | hot chocolate |
| Scandinavian modern | California modern |
| amaro | vermouth |
| Hart Trophy | Ted Lindsay Award |
| cutting post-secondary funding | cutting post-secondary enrolment |
| Left bank | Right bank |
| proper Canadian spelling | wrong American spelling |
| blaming Boomers | resenting Gen-X |
| punctuation | dashes |
| Formula 1 | bullfighting |
| ‘80s nostalgia | ‘90s nostalgia |
| backyard chickens | backyard ducks |
| celebratory champagne | everyday champagne |
| money | time |
| Jordan Peterson | George Grant |
| heritage tomatoes | heritage apples |
| renting | lodging |
| tilling | mulching |
| “defund the police” | phthano-paranomic power |
| Cartesian scientism | Viconian humanism |
| single source chocolate | single source honey |
| NBA basketball | Olympic basketball |
| faux fur | real fur |
| Athens | Jerusalem |
| Perry Mason | Sam Spade |
| coordinated | mismatched |
| prophets | mystics |
| weakness | strength |
| buttons | snaps |
And, of course, always out: George Bernard Shaw.
Check out The Hub’s YouTube page for more insightful commentary:
